worth laughing at


August 29, 2008, 12:10 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized



I’ve moved
May 24, 2008, 3:21 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

You can find me here.



Farmer Poet
March 3, 2008, 10:28 pm
Filed under: Beautiful men.

“The intentional community idea assumes that when you say love your neighbor as yourself you have some kind of right to go out and pick your neighbor. I think that the ideal of loving your neighbor has to take on the possibility that he may be somebody you’re going to have great difficulty loving or liking or even tolerating.”

And,

Here it seems to me you have a strange thing. You have young people who want world peace but don’t want to learn anybody else’s language. A young fellow came up to me after one of those meetings and said, “I’ve never had a foreign language and I want you to tell me why I should take French. I’m studying agriculture, not literature.” “Well,” I said, “if you don’t know, I can’t tell you. That’s why you take French for two or three or four years, to learn why you should take it.”

- Wendell Berry

Read the rest of his interview here.



Letter of Interest
March 2, 2008, 5:24 pm
Filed under: And Then I Found Ten Dollars. | Tags: ,

Dear ______ school,

I’ve noticed you and your fine qualities for some weeks now. Although this may seem sudden, I think I may be the one for you.

You have beauty and brains all in one amazing package. You are mature, ambitious, well-established, dedicated to the philosophical habit of mind, a good provider. I even like your parents. When I read your founding documents my pulse quickens and I long to embody your purpose statement. I will be there for you every day, I will plan fun things for us to do together, I will tell you and everyone I know how wonderful you are. I want to wake up to you every morning and rear your beautiful children, so tell me when I can sign on the dotted line to love, honor, and obey.

I know this is a big commitment, so I’m not asking you to decide right now, but please give me a chance – I love you and life without you would be a barren wasteland.

XOXOXOXOXOX,

Me



Saturday morning Pilates
February 25, 2008, 12:15 am
Filed under: Crazies | Tags: ,

9:07  I sit on my mat at and ponder the other class members.  Diary Girl, for instance – why does she bring her journal to a group exercise class?  I wonder if she is recording how she feels about the stretch in her calves during downward facing dog, and the deep emotional issues that well up within her as she tries to maintain a neutral spine in plank. 

 A local accent draws our attention, a voice that is much too awake for 9:09 am.  Townie Lady has an expired pass.  Yes, it’s so old that it’s no longer legible, but she didn’t know they expire.  Can she stay anyway?  There is time to buy a one-visit pass before class starts, and it costs three dollars.  Townie Lady’s purse is in her car.  The Pilates instructor is graceful but firm, and Townie Lady leaves. 

9:15  We are all eager to begin deepening our breath and lengthening through our spine when the sleepy peace is again disrupted.  Townie Lady scans the full room, imagines a choice spot in the second row, and wedges herself between Good Cook and Diary Girl. 

Diary Girl suggests that they might be too close.  Townie Lady tells Diary Girl to scoot. 

 As Diary Girl moves without a word of reply, Townie Lady unrolls a bath towel over her mat.  Does she have a sweating problem?  Diary girl returns to her journal with new vigor to answer this question.



What was Cataline accused of by Cicero?
December 8, 2007, 5:53 pm
Filed under: Cogito ergo :(

Burning down Rome / heracy.

Cataline was accused of not leading the consul in the right way.  He was trying to take over the consul.

Being a terrible ruler.

Eating his children, or ruining the state of Rome.

Adultry.

Loving another man.



The Best Brownies I have ever had.
November 30, 2007, 7:19 pm
Filed under: Procrastinate Now

3 sticks plus 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
12 ounces best-quality bittersweet chocolate
6 eggs
1 3/4 cups superfine sugar
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup white chocolate buttons, chips, or morsels
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate buttons, chips or morsels
Approximately 2 teaspoons confectioners’ sugar, for garnish

Special equipment: Baking tin (approximately 11 1/4 inches by 9 inches by 2 inches), sides and base lined with baking parchment.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Melt the butter and dark chocolate together in a large heavy based pan over a low heat.
In a bowl or large measuring jug, beat the eggs together with the superfine sugar and vanilla extract.

Allow the chocolate mixture to cool a little, then add the egg and sugar mixture and beat well. Fold in the flour and salt. Then stir in the white chocolate buttons or chips, and the semisweet chocolate buttons or chips. Beat to combine then scrape and pour the brownie mixture into the prepared tin.

Bake for about 25 minutes. You can see when the brownies are ready because the top dries to a slightly paler brown speckle, while the middle remains dark, dense and gooey. Even with such a big batch you do need to keep checking on it: the difference between gooey brownies and dry ones is only a few minutes. Remember, too, that they will continue to cook as they cool.

To serve, cut into squares while still warm and pile up on a large plate, sprinkling with confectioners’ sugar pushed with a teaspoon through a small sieve.



ars – the sequel
November 12, 2007, 4:33 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

A——-,

I forgot to thank you for translating that quote, and I can definitly take a picture
when it’s done.  The letters are actually going to follow the pattern around a
cross, so the quote had to be fairly long.

Andrew



Ars Gratia Artis
November 1, 2007, 9:10 pm
Filed under: Cogito ergo :(

Hi A——-,

I had to go home because tonight is my sisters 21st birthday, and I couldn’t miss
that.  I got my homework due for tommorow done, so if you want me to send you
that I can.  I was also wondering if you had gotten the time to translate that quote I
gave you at the drill session.  It’s part of a tattoo I am going to get and I might be
getting it this weekend, so if you are done then could you e-mail it to me.  If you
aren’t though don’t worry about it, I can just add it later.

Thanks,

Student

(The sentence is: “It doesn’t matter how hard you can hit, it matters how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”)



Sight Unseen
October 17, 2007, 7:11 pm
Filed under: And Then I Found Ten Dollars.

Today, I’m going to the eye doctor. I’ve already been once this month, but this is a progressive eye doctor who allows patients to test out the new prescription for a few weeks before ordering a whole set of lenses.

Buying new contacts is no big deal, but I was thinking about getting some new glasses too. Only vision-impaired people will understand why this intimidates me, the ones who in addition to the annoyance of growing blind also suffered through the eighties, barely escaping without our faces developing enormous permanent circles stretching around the eyes and down, down to the very ends of our noses.

After a succession of unflattering frames, I am now desperate enough to purchase some name brand sophistication in dark plastic with a markup of about 3,000%. This is the very mentality which leads a normally prudent woman to indulge in Ralph Lauren frames and extra-slender-glare-defender-easy-spender lenses. I know, because this happened to my mother. Still, the “complimentary gift” fruit basket she received the next day was nice.